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The ruin of conversation is continuing to talk about one's indifferent personal problems after the group is ready to advance to more generalized impersonal things. Even worse is depressing it to personalia from a higher level. It is the habit of some people, when a general topic is discussed, to take it personally, and so to drag the topic from its general level to one of personalities — in which they relate their personal experience. An extreme case is that of the fellow who generalizingly said that life consists of people who wait and those who are waited for, corresponding roughly to those who love and those who are being loved. Thereupon his betrothed, instead of discussing this general proposition, said, "Well, tonight you called on me late — I was waiting. The same thing happened last week. I take it, therefore, that you do not love me!" In this way, the conversation was ruined. It may well be that the hat fit, but one does not have to wear in public every hat that fits. In conversation at least, one may not drag a general statement down to a personal problem — one may not publicly apply it personally. Let the rule be, keep the conversation general in theme, impersonal in instance and detail. Do not drag it back to the personal, once it has been raised above it. |
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