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dwell on them after the crowd knows them or is ready to pass from personalities to ideas. The perfect time to talk about these indifferently personal matters is at the beginning of a party when people are still groping for something to say. That is where you as a good conversationalist will step into the threatening silence with accounts of the food problems you had that day, the transportation difficulties you encountered, how your husband or children delayed you or rushed you or disappointed you in this or that minor way. You may even describe any of your personal ailments affecting visible parts of the body, such as a headache or sinus trouble or swollen ankle or a rheumatic elbow. Doing this will make people feel that they are coming to know you a great deal better. Through these personalia, they are slowly conditioned for your philosophy of life, for things really significant. But there is a further value. Inasmuch as these impersonal personal topics, as it were, concern matters about which even the bashful can and would like to talk with reference to themselves, you will quickly set the whole group talking. Thus they will give each other those preliminary introductions to their personalities which are necessary bases for more lasting friendship — and for more significant conversation later on. |
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