When and How to Talk of One's Self : Page 207

To talk about these things may possibly interest the party, as a diary would, but it will lower their esteem for the speaker. If a person does it often he will become ludicrous and come to be regarded as a cheap personality, lacking in self-respect and pride. If anyone in a group talks such intimacies, a good conversationalist will charitably try to distract the group from the full effect of the self-revealings, perhaps pass them off as a joke, and smoothly shift the conversation. The easiest way to do it is to raise the specific revelation to a higher generalized level. Were one to say, "I am getting $32.76 a week now," you might say, "It seems to me that wages in general have been affected by unionism. Do you think your raise was due to your union?" Then the talk could drift to labor unions, wages, and living costs, away from individual salaries. Were someone to say that he has just acquired a new girl friend, you might raise matters from the personal to the general level by saying, "A new girl friend? Isn't it odd how many new dates many people need before they find the one for life? Why can some find the right one the first thing, while others can do so only after years of flitting about?"