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Yet, in this instance, it was they who violated a courtesy of conversation. A cultured conversationalist will take good care to apprize anyone of facts which, if he does not know, will naturally lead him into saying the wrong thing. This is above all the duty of a host or hostess. If the partition of Ireland is likely to become a topic of discussion, and an Englishwoman, hidden perhaps under an Irish name, is present, anyone of the company who knows this ought to find a gracious, perhaps playful, way of revealing this circumstance. But if no one else does, then it is the duty of the Englishwoman herself to forestall future embarrassment by saying some such thing as, "When it comes to matters Irish I am a divided person, for my husband was Irish, but my parents were English." It has often seemed to me that people who unwarningly let others talk themselves into inadvertently tactless remarks should be ostracized from good company. They would appear to have the mentality of eavesdroppers or spies. It is no defense to say, "Well, nobody should ever say anything offensive anyway." It is true that one should always treat all topics in so fair and generous a manner that no impartial hearer should be offended by it. But no matter how fairly one treats a subject, it can be very embarrassing to find that the subject has a personal meaning for one of the listeners. It is certainly proper to talk about the evils of drinking, but unwittingly to do so in the presence of a drunkard, no matter how fairly it is done, would be painful. |
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