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Regarding the first, Dean Swift wrote, ". . . when any man speaks in company, it is to be supposed he does it for his hearer's sake, and not his own." Elsewhere he remarks, Few are qualified to shine in company; but it is in most men's power to be agreeable. The reason, therefore, why conversation runs so low at present, is not the defect of understanding, but pride, vanity, ill-nature, affectation, singularity, positiveness, or some other \ice, the effect of wrong education. Always, in this matter of conversation, one is driven back upon the conviction that the central requirement of a good conversationalist is a sincere desire to make others feel content. A really good person, one is made to think, cannot be a disagreeable talker, and a selfish, evil-minded person, no matter what his art, cannot be a wholly acceptable one. In conversation as in everything else, a good tree brings forth good fruit. Our Lord's words, "a good man utters good words from his store of goodness," seem quite literally applicable to conversation. This goodness must not be understood as a sort of pharisaical goodness, but as a deep unselfish desire to be helpful to others. |
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