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At this point, disaster looms, unless at least one of them realizes that nothing is essentially wrong with either that was not wrong before. They simply never had a common level of interests, but in the agitations and illusions of courtship they had not had time to notice this. Their best hope now is that the one who recognizes their true problem of conversational incompatibility determines to sacrifice his conversational interests to the other's. If he or she selflessly listens to the mate's troubles, determines upon heroic self-abnegation, a certain happiness can be achieved. What is to be hoped is that God will rush to the rescue by giving the wiser one the grace so to identify himself with the other's problems that they become his own, vicariously, and therefore no longer boring to hear. It is not a conversational ideal for marriage, but it is the best that can be done when people marry who are natively on different levels of understanding and interest. |
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