Personality Adjustment for Conversation : Page 150
Fundamentally, talking seems to be the urge to share our troubles with others, and the price we have to pay for this privilege is sharing their troubles. There seems to be no more certain law than that every pleasure has its price, and that every urge, if it is to be satisfied enjoyably at all, must be controlled. If government does not regulate air channels, and if broadcasters do not observe them, the air will be jammed — and nobody will enjoy any program. If in driving along the highways you do not control your urge according to the corresponding urges of the others, blueprinted in
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traffic laws, you will soon not be driving at all. So, basically, in talking, we want to talk to give expression to our hopes and desires, our problems and fears, sometimes directly, usually carefully camouflaged. But everyone we talk to wants to talk for the very same reasons. And as soon as the channels are not well regulated and controlled, one person will discharge himself, the other will be bored. You might say that then the talker wins. But it is a frustrating victory. For tomorrow when with increased desire he wants to do it again, his friend will be talking to someone else.